A surprising number of homes on the market have been meth labs.
I get a weekly e-mail update from the National Association of Realtors. It has little snippets of news from Capitol Hill, announcements of online courses, the usual thing. Then, under the Sales and Marketing Tools section, there was this item: "5 Signs That Your Listing Might Have Once Been a Meth Lab."
I will admit to a decidedly off-kilter sense of humor. It comes from working at daily newpapers in South Florida, covering cops. Weird, weird stuff. So, as a result, this headline completely cracked me up. Apparently, the real estate market didn't have enough issues to deal with. What a thing to have to think about for your job. "Hmm, I wonder if it's okay to ask my seller if he's a tweaker."
It's not a joking matter, I know. I had read the New York Times piece that Styled, Staged and Sold blogger Melissa Tracey referenced in her post. There are thousands of houses on the market that were used as meth labs, and the impact on unsuspecting families who buy those houses can be devastating.
Melissa ended her very useful item by asking her readers if they'd ever come across a house they suspected had been a meth lab. The comments were amazing, a little scary, and in one case, hilarious.
It's no joking matter, I know. I had already read that Doug Wolfe, a man whose website home page includes his membership in the Society of Former Special Agents of the FBI (there really is a club for everything), wrote:
"Five additional clues:
Doors busted in.
Bullet holes.
Owner unavailable for five to ten years.
Roof is missing (from the explosion.) Beware of listings that advertise lots of sunlight.
A guy named 'Fluffee' makes Youtube videos about the property."
I was howling. I know, I know, it's totally sick given the seriousness of the topic, but I'll chalk it up as one of those "you gotta laugh to keep from crying" kind of things. (Honestly, I'm the nicest, most sympathetic person you'd ever want to meet.)
Anyway, props to Melissa for a really helpful how-to piece for Realtors and home buyers alike. Good, useful stuff with nary a trace of inappropriate humor. I'll jump on her train and try to keep it chugging down the track.
Readers: In your quest to find a great house, have you ever come across one that you suspected was a meth lab? —Pat Curry